It rained last night

That seems like the title of poem, but unfortunately it isn’t!  It is just another rambling blog from me.  I haven’t written a poem for so long that I think I should try writing one very soon.  Work and inertia is keeping me away from poetry.  I am not claiming to have been a good poet by any standards anytime in my life, but I think I was readable (at least by myself!)

Well, to return to the title of this entry, it rained last night.  It must have rained heavily because I woke up to mother’s cries of disbelief at the sight outside.  There was a deluge in our courtyard.  It was totally inundated with greenish muddy water, just a few inches away from entering our home.  Luckily, it had already begun to recede by the time we woke up and the rain Gods had turned their attention to other things as well.  It was still raining, though less wrathfully.  I made the best use of this situation that I could think of – I waded out into the road, trousers rolled up over my knees, Johnny for company.  I clicked a few pictures as well.

Rains finally bringing the temperatures down to more healthier levels.  More rains are needed in parts of India which give us our daily bread, the food producing regions.  The other day, I had been watching on TV how the delay in monsoons this year is causing sleepless nights for our “kisaan” brothers.  I hope the rain Gods smile on them!  I don’t understand how much of all this is an effect of the much-hyped Global Warming phenomenon, but sometimes I think some of it is.  We need to instill more respect for the environment in ourselves.  My own desire to buy a bike is in conflict with my desire to be eco-friendly – one of those conflicts that plague me.

Won’t talk about more conflict now.  The rains were a relief.  Thank God!!

Here’s something that crept into my mind while I was at the toilet, relieving myself.

Rain rain where are you,

Little Johnny is feeling blue,

Come to him, he wants to play,

Come and wash his tears away!

In retrospect

With this I come to the end of another month without having done many of the things on my to-do list.  No money saved (largely due to the new computer I had to buy).  Guitar lessons still pending.  Bike??  And a lots more!! One thing I am satisfied with is the volume of work I have done.  It’s been much more than ever before since I started working on the Clarian account, so that’s something to boost my spirits up.  Been spending less time online than is necessary for the first time in months.  This really helped me push my productivity to new levels.  Money is high on my list now, the more the better.  I had to invest this much in my new system, just bought a new monitor.  Buying a computer table, keyboard, and I don’t know what else still remains to be done.  This has been a month of spending.  Also, started the construction at home that I had remained on my to-do list for such a long time.  Finally, things are moving.

Sometimes I think life is just that - a long, unreachable to-do list.  Yeah, unreachable because there are so many items on that to-do list that it is just not possible to tick all of them off our list in one lifetime.  At times, we have to tick items off to make the list more manageable, suppress our desires.

Talking about desire, it brings to my mind my own, unfathomable desires, the inner demons I have to fight with.  They sometimes increase the gulf between what I am and what I would ideally like to be.  They create conflict.  However, I have actually come to terms with them to a much greater level than where I was a few years ago.  I remember those days.  I was constantly at conflict with my own desires.  I was confused.  I was striving to understand myself.  With the passage of time, as I progressed in years and experience, greater understanding dawned upon me and I began to accept myself and my desires.  I still fight against them sometimes, but the conflicts are happening with lesser frequency than they used to.  Acceptance is a peaceful.

Acceptance may also be stagnation.  If there is no conflict, there is no progress. Conflict is necessary.  It keeps me on my toes.  It eggs me on to be what I truly want to be instead of letting nature take its own path, and nature is not on my side.  It makes me write such retrospective entries in my blog!

Let it pass! I am not really in a mood for such introspection.  Let me dwell on more mundane issues.   One of them being my imminent trip to Kolkata.  Yes, more money involved, but fortunately, Manta has paid for the trip to Kolkata, and I have to pay out of my pocket for the return journey.  I needed a break.  I had to forgo a lot of activities I would have been involved with had I remained in Kolkata; Shoma’s marriage for one.  I am just thinking about spending a few days away from work.  I will lose out on some money in the process, but I think I need this.  Once back from the trip, I have to work like a madman what with two accounts to deal with.  Hoping for the best outcomes as usual.  Hope is what keeps my clock ticking.  Hope and acceptance.

Well, I think I should stop here without rambling on further.  Got some work to attend to.  June will see another entry from me, probably tomorrow.  I hope :)

End of May

May just passed by quietly (yes, the May that comes before June and after April).  Silently, without much happening for me.  I had been planning to visit Kolkata, but my boss didn’t see eye to eye with me.  He has different plans.  Well, the boss’s always right!!

The heat is just building up, even here in this small town of Alipurduar. However, I consider myself fortunate to have escaped the sweltering days of Kolkata summers!!  Oh! Those were the days!  Sweat trickling down my back, my arms, my forehead, and several other parts of my anatomy!! The travel through superheated concrete roads, the blast of summer air coming in through the open windows of the bus, and lastly the crowds, the body heat adding to the heat of the atmosphere.  Thank God, I am not a part of that lifestyle anymore.

The last day of this month just brought back an old memory from last year.  I was flipping around with some topics in my mind to write about when this memory came flooding back.  It must have been the heat and humidity which brought back this pleasant memory.

It was sometime last year, summer in Kolkata.  Vishal had been staying with us for a few days.  It was a Sunday, a Sunday afternoon.  It had just rained the day before and there were still patches of wetness here and there. As usual, there was a power-cut at home and so Vishal and I decided to go out somewhere and try to cool ourselves off.

We wandered off towards the playground which is just a few minutes’ walk away from our house.  The whole playground was wet from the previous night’s rain.  There was nobody playing there, it was all muddy and poodles of water had formed everywhere.  The sun was beginning to fall below the horizon throwing that beautiful violet hue to the sky that only a dusking sun can.  It was so pleasantly cool, in stark contrast to the sweltering day preceding that dusk.  Before we knew it, we had taken our shoes off and started walking around in the mud puddles, just like those kids in TV commercials do.  We wandered aimlessly talking about life, love, and hope, our feet firmly grounded in the muddy expanse.  The sensation of the cool, wet grass crushing under our feet and the natural mud packs we were giving ourselves just swept me away.  I enjoyed it so thoroughly.  As the light grew dimmer and dimmer, the joy increased manifold, there began to blow a cool breeze over the playground.  We finally decided to let go of all our hedonistic indulgences and head towards home.  We were muddy and soiled, but we didn’t mind……it was well worth it!!