The pressures and temptations of settling down into a comfortable and conventional existence begins to weigh down on me at times. The temptations of letting things remain the way they are, not venturing out of my comfort zone, living a riskless, safe life. I don’t mean just physical risk, even a shift in my thought processes towards a different direction is detected by my unconscious as a risk and hence resisted. Big words I know, but could not have explained in any other way. The conventional progression of life from childhood to adulthood to old age to death with getting an education taking the highest priority in childhood, earning a living and getting married in adulthood, just waiting for death to arrive in old age, and the end of the cycle in death (but who knows if the cycle ends there!)
I am not extraordinarily talented in anything that can consume me wholly and get the highest priority in my life at the expense of settling down into the conventional routine. And if I am, then I am yet to find it out. Nevertheless, I still want to steer clear of the conventional existence of working for money, marrying for continuity of tradition and lineage, retiring from an active life, and waiting for death. I want to escape the dullness of a conventional life. I don’t want to follow the herd.
Marriage is imminently nearing now tempting me with the promise of a companion for life, an outlet for my primal urges, another addition to my support system, an opportunity to pass on my genes to the next generation, and so on and so forth. However, it also means bondage, loss of independence, attachment, the pressures of conforming to another person’s wishes, and the list goes on……
It might just be a necessary evil……………………………………to be continued…….
